Big Brother's Little Brother

05 June 2009

Clearly it was important to Endemol/Channel 4 to get the new season of BBLB off to a cracking start, so the selection of guests was crucial. One of these guests would traditionally be a former housemate, and ideally a legendary one who could be guaranteed to provide sharp and lively input, with glamour and style.

Shortlist of one. Step forward, Aisleyne!

After a Hollywood-style "song and dance" routine, George introduced the new season and the new set for BBLB and confirmed that Rodrigo and Noirin had become the first fully confirmed BB10 housemates. He then trailed the show's guests and was clearly delighted to announce "We've got BB7's Aisleyne!"

Cut to Aisleyne who responds with "Better know yourself Georgie!"

George revealed that another 5 had qualified as HMs, namely Lisa Kris Charlie Saffia and Karly.

There followed some items about the BB audition process, the "SAS" episode and a review of some of the launch night entrances.

George then went on, "And now to a lady who is no stranger to the BB house - or the bit next door. She came third in BB7 ..." and continuing with some references (of varying accuracy!) to her new book, her clothing range, Mike Tyson and Amy Winehouse, George again introduced Aisleyne. "How are you?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm good, but I'm flabbergasted you said that." replied Aisleyne, "I'm so excited about BB10, it's gonna be a brilliant series" adding modestly "though of course it's not gonna top my one."

"Now you're mates with Amy Winehouse." said George, "What about her lookalike Beinazir?" They showed pictures of the two beehived ones. Ash was unconvinced about any further resemblance.

George than asked, "Launch night last night - Were you partyin'?"

"No, I was partyin' on my own", replied Aisleyne, adding "well, me and my cat. I was writing my column for a magazine." George then showed some pictures from the previous night showing her cooking some chips than sitting on the floor watching the show as she typed her Reveal mag blog on her laptop.

Of the current housemates and "non-housemates" Aisleyne said that on first impressions she liked Sophia, Cairon and Beinazir.

George went on to refer to Lisa's decision to take Kris in with her, and to Ash's horror ran a clip showing her traumatic decision in BB7 between Spiral and Jonathan. "You've sent me back to a bad place there, babes" said Aisleyne, who felt that Lisa's decision was easier as they had only been together for less than a day.

George then said that he was going to ask Aisleyne to make another tough decision. He recalled that Rodrigo had earlier had to shave off Noirin's eyebrows and draw spectacles and a moustache on her face, leading to them both becoming fully fledged housemates. After briefly teasing Ash that they were going to do the same to her, George explained that she was going to have to choose someone and then shave their eyebrows off, just like Rodrigo did to Noirin.

Rich and John from the BB production staff were introduced, both giving reasons why they didn't want this to happen. Ash was put on the spot to make her choice. "Ooh, I can't decide - Richie looks so cuddly - I'll go with John"

"Bring out the razor and pen" said George. John said he was feeling awful as we went to a commercial break. When we returned we heard George warn "Say goodbye to 'em" as Aisleyne got to work shaving and then drawing specs and moustache on the victim's face. "She's pretty handy with the marker pen" said George.

After some more segments George introduced "professional mentalist" Paul Stockman who can analyse behaviour and body language and reach startlingly accurate conclusions rather like Derren Brown. This segment would be about "first impressions" and as well as Paul Stockman, Aisleyne was also involved. She was equipped with a buzzer and her job was to watch some housemate profiles and buzz when she had seen enough and then give her first impression.

First was Siavash - Aisleyne admitted that she "sort of secretly sort of fancied him even though he's bit weird". Paul thought "he was a real pratt"

Next up was Marcus. Aisleyne was unimpressed. "He's got a weird beard and lives at home with his mum still". Paul thought he might relax and be a father figure

The final housemate turned out to be none other than Aisleyne herself! As they ran clips from her time on BB7, with a scream of horror, Aisleyne was very quickly hitting the button. "She didn't know herself and now she does!" cried a mortified Aisleyne.

George turned to Paul. "Is that the same person?" he asked, Paul replied "Absolutely not the same person. When I first saw her on BB7 I thought she was just another wannabe. Now I've known her for a while she's the exact opposite of that."

As all the guests gathered on the couches to close the show we rather thought that the Daily Star's James Ingham made a dash to make sure that he sat next to Ash; he was rewarded with a knee squeeze and a kiss.

The programme was brought to a conclusion. Another successful TV appearance for Aisleyne.

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